Dating as a Writer, in GIFs
The good news about dating as a writer is you know your misadventures would make great material — the bad news its you have to endure the dates. When dating non-writers, it can be tough to explain what you do, how you do it and why you do.
Here’s some dating woes, from one writer to another.
“Are you gonna write about me?”
AHAHAHA. This guy.
“Can I be in your story?”
ARE YOU SPECIAL? THEN NO.
“I’ve never met a writer before.”
“Don’t write about this.”
“Do you make money writing?”
Only a little and it comes 30 to 90 days after I invoice but nbd.
“What’s your real job?”
But...I just told you.
“Can you promote my [insert fashion line or ridiculous entrepreneurial venture here]?”
I can barely make my deadlines, you just spent 20 minutes insulting me and now you want me to work for free?
“This is off the record.”
You just wanted to say that for shits and giggles, didn’t you, you sly fox.
Your enthusiasm about my career is thrilling.
“With my career in business and your 'job,' I don’t think we’d make a good match.”
IF THE DOOR DOESN'T HIT YOU ON THE ASS ON THE WAY OUT, I'LL BE SURE TO PUT IT INTO THE SCENE I WRITE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR VERY TIMELY DEMISE. FOR FREE.